| Sweathogs Back In Power | | | | |
| | | | bottoms and you'll feel like you're back in |
| John Travolta will once again banter with | | | | the 1970's. |
| the Sweathogs in the TV comedy "Welcome Back | | | | |
| Kotter". | | | | Billions Able To Catch Up |
| | | | |
| You know, they're high school wise guys who | | | | Ok, you may not be getting hot flashes over |
| would rather be funny than learn, | | | | this but many |
| | | | |
| but they've got good hearts and great Jersey | | | | Americans have never seen these shows. And |
| accents. Mr. Kaaat-tare... | | | | there are also 6.4 billion |
| | | | |
| patiently endures their pranks and tries to | | | | people in the world and you're not an |
| guide them with parental fondness. | | | | adequate statistical sample of them all. |
| | | | |
| Travolta went on to greatness and | | | | Granted, only 1 out 4 knows English. But |
| scientology and I think he's nocturnal. He | | | | that's still 1.6 billion people |
| even made his whole family nocturnal too. He | | | | |
| was on Leno | | | | who could come on AOL and start catching up |
| | | | with what they've missed so far. |
| telling Jay how he and his kids stay up all | | | | |
| night and sleep all day. Jay | | | | The new shows will add to the large amount |
| | | | of free video content |
| was all, "really, oh wow, sounds great." I | | | | |
| think he was thinking something | | | | already available on AOL including news, |
| | | | comedy, music, and educational |
| else though. | | | | |
| | | | programming. Truthfully, I didn't even know |
| I saw the show filmed live once. Afterwards | | | | AOL had video footage. I just |
| three of us broke from the | | | | |
| | | | thought they were going to continue losing a |
| tourist line when the security guard was | | | | couple million customers per year |
| zoning about "another day, another | | | | |
| | | | until they didn't have any more left. But |
| dollar, another bunch of star struck | | | | then came the video idea! |
| losers." We youngsters bolted for the | | | | |
| | | | They're hoping that lots of money will be |
| ABC commissary to mingle and have a tuna | | | | generated by selling 2 minutes of |
| sandwich. The commissary | | | | |
| | | | commercial time for each half hour show, |
| was like a school cafeteria complete with | | | | rather than the usual 8 minutes of |
| lunch ladies and so-so food. | | | | |
| | | | commercials we now get on our real shows. |
| There were TV actors around, but no stars, | | | | My only hope is that they get a |
| just people you thought you | | | | |
| | | | lot of advertisers who have cool |
| recognized. They probably thought they | | | | commercials, because right now you have to |
| recognized us, but they didn't. | | | | |
| | | | watch Crest Whitestrip Ads over and over and |
| Nobody threw us out, and that's the | | | | there's not a lot of interesting drama |
| important thing. | | | | |
| | | | you can add to that. Unless they hired me. |
| Caine To Kick Butt Again | | | | I would have two al-Queda |
| | | | |
| More to the point, would you like to | | | | detainees with yellow teeth escape from |
| vicariously vent some rage through the | | | | Gitmo. The CIA puts out photos of |
| | | | |
| misunderstood immigrant and martial arts | | | | them with the yellow teeth, which I would |
| expert Kwai Chang Caine? Every | | | | make extra yellow for effect. One |
| | | | |
| "Kung Fu" show had the same formula. In the | | | | terrorist uses Crest Whitestrips and fools |
| old west Caine was looking | | | | the border guards while the other |
| | | | |
| for work but always found prejudice. First | | | | gets caught and is sent right back to Gitmo, |
| of all, I never understood how | | | | with garlic chicken, safron rice |
| | | | |
| David Carradine played a Chinese guy. He's | | | | and veggies. What happened to the escaped |
| not Chinese! (Someone had | | | | terrorist? I don't know, I |
| | | | |
| to say it.) Anyways he always runs into some | | | | haven't thought it out that far. Perhaps he |
| nasty drunk cowboys. They | | | | drives a truck bomb into |
| | | | |
| call to him with a derogatory drunk | | | | Walmart and destroys the Crest Whitestrip |
| attitude, "hey Chinaman! Come over | | | | display. Anyways, you would not soon |
| | | | |
| here. What are you doing Chinaman?" He | | | | forget Crest Whitestrips after that |
| would bow humbly in a Zen like way, | | | | commercial.Le Femme Nikita Proves Torture |
| | | | Works |
| "I live. I work." Well, you knew that was | | | | |
| going to set those guys off who | | | | You've also got the very addictive counter |
| | | | terrorism thriller, Le Femme Nikita, |
| naturally had to lay a beating on him, which | | | | |
| Caine would humbly accept. | | | | which used to be on USA in the late 90's. |
| | | | Beautiful Nikita was in the wrong |
| Later though, Caine would find work at some | | | | |
| widow woman's ranch fixing | | | | place, wrong time, with the wrong drug habit |
| | | | and wound up on death-row where the |
| fences, and those same cowboys would mess | | | | |
| around with the widow woman's | | | | government recruited her into their top |
| | | | secret Section 1 Counter Terrorism unit. |
| daughter. You waited the whole show for | | | | |
| this. Finally Caine threw these | | | | These agents are not afraid to go 'off road' |
| | | | if you catch my meaning. Nikita was |
| slobs into the walls and trees and even the | | | | |
| fence he just built. The slow motion | | | | half innocent, half she-killer and we all |
| | | | learn with her that torture definitely |
| round house kick always lands before they | | | | |
| can get their guns out. - Thank you | | | | works, every time. Because if you lie they |
| | | | will find out and torture you |
| for reflective measured justice Caine! | | | | |
| | | | worse, and it already was pretty bad. Two |
| 300 Shows in Hidden Vaults | | | | "torture specialists" come into |
| | | | |
| You know, there are 300 shows just a good as | | | | the cell with lab coats, a briefcase and no |
| these two, hiding | | | | discernable emotions. When the |
| | | | |
| in the vaults of Warner Brothers Studios. I | | | | prisoner is seen later, they had little |
| don't know what a vault is, but it | | | | slits under their eyes, not much life |
| | | | |
| sounds dark and secure and I'm glad I'm not | | | | force, and had told them everything. This |
| in one. It's probably more of a | | | | show had an extremely loyal |
| | | | |
| storage room off to the side. People who | | | | fan base. By the way, they have all gone |
| work there walked by it once in a | | | | over to watch Kiefer |
| | | | |
| while and thought, "we should do something | | | | Sutherland in the extra addictive"24" on Fox |
| with those old shows one day." | | | | who also proves each week |
| | | | |
| Well, I'm here to announce that those people | | | | that torture works. Interestingly, Alberta |
| who thought that are going to get | | | | Watson who was a spy supervisor |
| | | | |
| their way! Although probably not any credit. | | | | in Nikita, was also a spy supervisor in the |
| There were supervisors who | | | | first season of "24". |
| | | | |
| finally acted and passed the idea up the | | | | I guess she was helping the new show get |
| chain to their supervisors, and so it's | | | | going with torturing genocidal |
| | | | |
| the bosses of those people who will actually | | | | maniacs until they could do it on their own. |
| get the credit. Now take a lesson | | | | Peta Wilson is on to other things |
| | | | |
| from that. Don't give your best idea to | | | | with thousands of websites drooling over her |
| someone who is going to give it to | | | | every move |
| | | | |
| someone who's going to give it to someone | | | | |
| else who will take all the credit. | | | | |
| | | | Growing Pains... So Cute |
| Write a note to the CEO directly. Just make | | | | |
| sure it's a really good idea | | | | Also there is a whole pre-teen generation |
| | | | around the English speaking world |
| and don't do this too often, so that when | | | | |
| you finally do have a great idea, he | | | | who have never seen "Growing Pains" with |
| | | | former teen idol Kirk |
| or she won't start thinking, "Oh, great, | | | | |
| another "great idea" from so an so, | | | | Cameron and a very young Leonardo DiCaprio |
| | | | who arrived near the end of the |
| I'll just put this with the others in the | | | | |
| vault." | | | | series in 1991. Cute show. Many parents |
| | | | will allow some of this |
| A Revolutionary Step Forward in Online | | | | |
| Videos | | | | kinder and gentler fare into the home who |
| | | | won't give the kids the keys to the |
| | | | |
| | | | MTV. Even though we're too hip now and |
| Time/Warner has paired it's two kids | | | | might see it as corny, there are |
| together, AOL, and Warner | | | | |
| | | | millions of young teen girls who find a show |
| Brothers to broadcast some 300 former shows | | | | like this a safe harbor from the |
| with thousands of episodes on AOL's | | | | |
| | | | sex and cynicism served up raw on TV today. |
| Streaming Video On-Demand Internet service | | | | But be warned, there are no |
| whether they want to or not. | | | | |
| | | | drunk naked kids cursing and crying over |
| It's going to be called, "In2TV" and it will | | | | other drunk naked kids who cheated on |
| begin in early 2006. | | | | |
| | | | them with a third group of drunk naked kids, |
| Everything else in this article is fluff, | | | | jumping into swimming pools living |
| albeit somewhat entertaining funny | | | | |
| | | | the "real life". Just funny laughs and life |
| fluff. | | | | lessons. |
| | | | |
| The streaming video's will be offered free | | | | AOL Might Survive Afterall |
| in a DVD quality | | | | |
| | | | AOL is taking another giant step in |
| video format called AOL Hi-Q which purports | | | | normalizing the vast potential of the |
| to be full-screen and | | | | |
| | | | Internet as a family television delivery |
| high-resolution. A few patch cords from your | | | | vehicle. |
| PC to a TV, and a pair of bell | | | | |